Please don't look back, Michele, lest you turn into a pillar of salt! [snicker]

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COMMENTS:
*  She doesn't believe in evolution ... and she COULD be proof that she's right!
*  Primates everywhere desperately hope she's right.
* She was something we should not see the likes of again. But we will. Of course we will. The government we deserve...
* "Those words were mouthed by our founding fathers." Actually, "In God We Trust" wasn't adopted as the national motto until 1956, the year Michelle was born!
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FAREWELL, MICHELE BACHMANN
By Charles P. Pierce, December 10, 2014

The only Congress we have today bid a fond farewell to Michele Bachmann, who thanked the only Congress we have by delivering a farewell address that never will be confused with Washington's Farewell To His Troops, or to the last dying embers of a dumpster fire, for all that.

Just behind me is our nation's motto and it says, "In God We Trust." What a fabulous motto. Could there any better motto be written for any nation? To declare, full voice, that it is in God that we as a nation put our trust -- what other more trustworthy venue could there be, what other more trustworthy vehicle could there be than a holy God?

A sturdy pick-up truck?

"You see it isn't just today that we mouth these words. These words were mouthed by the founders of our country. Those who decided to leave the comforts of their home to come here to what was essentially an untested, untapped world where there were people -- the Native Americans who populated this land -- but where a brand new culture that was about to be born. One that would be, again, the fulcrum to bless the entire world."

Except for the Native Americans who populated this land, whom we bludgeoned with our godly fulcrum so we could birth our brand new culture atop their bleaching bones.

"As I look about this chamber we are ringed with the silhouettes of lawgivers throughout history, Hammurabi, various lawgivers throughout all of time, lawgivers for whom veneration is required.And yet only one lawgiver has the distinction of not having a silhouette, but having the full face be revealed by the artist. That lawgiver is Moses. Moses is directly above the double doors that lead into the center-most part of this chamber, and in the face of Moses, his eyes look straight upon not only our nation's motto -- In God We Trust -- but Moses's face looks full on into the face of the speaker of the House. Daily the speaker of the House, as he stands up in his authority and in his podium recognizes that he is a man under authority, just as Moses was a man under authority. Because you see Mr. Speaker, Moses was given for full honor of the greatest lawmaker in this chamber, because he was chosen by the God that we trust, to be entrusted with the basis of all law."

I am required to venerate Hammurabi? Really? Do I have to build a ziggurat? Can I get materials for that at Home Depot? How about some slaves to help? My life is getting complicated.

"My favorite Americans are people who didn't know they were Americans. They were the Pilgrims."

Yeah, I got nothing on that one.

But she has promised that she won't be going away. In fact, she won't be shackled any more by the restraints of congressional politesse. Michele Bachmann will be completely unplugged.

"I think I'll be involved in media," she said. "I'll be involved in speaking nationally around the country. Probably writing a book, ... also be involved in helping get candidates elected."

I can't wait.
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