Some appropriate political definitions

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A constituent’s dictionary of political terms
By Al Thompson, December 26, 2013

Bi-partisanship — A mixed metaphor where one political party looks for cooperation from another political party, only to meet with closed doors. Closely related to compromise.

Budget — A misnomer often used in place of the term Rubik’s cube.

Bureaucrat — One who works the political scene for self-aggrandizement. Also see politician.

Compromise — An archaic term once used to find mutual agreement among diverse political parties, now largely replaced by adolescent behavior.

Congress — An elected political body enjoying health-care and monetary perks denied to their constituents.

Congressional committee — A group of congresspersons either chatting each other up or making disparaging remarks while interviewing a third party.

Congressperson — An elected official making a show of responsibility to one’s own constituents to ensure being re-elected, so as to continue to get all the perks denied those constituents.

Constitution — A document instituting a country’s governmental law, often couched in an ambiguous manner and misinterpreted.

Cosa Nostra — An organization after which some politicians pattern themselves.

Election day — A day set aside for constituents to ignore responsibility when incumbents almost certainly know they’ll be re-elected, thereby being assured of their usual perks.

Executive branch — Refers to a president and Cabinet members who can never quite get their messages across to a legislative branch, which is usually immersed in bi-partisan confusion.

Fiscal conservatism — A diversionary term used by elected officials using tax monies for their own personal gain.

Lobbyist — Any person or group bribing a politician.

Obstructionist — Refers to a 10-year-old bully in politician’s clothing.

Political action committee (PAC) - A particular group used to channel funds to influence a politician, with the stipulation those funds will be used to enrich the pockets of a particular group.

Political pundit — Someone who wears blinders, such as horses were made to do in olden days.

Politician — A container for hot air. Also see bureaucrat.

Supreme Court — An elite body of judgmental persons appointed by the executive branch to follow constitutional law. Also subject to political persuasion.

The 1 percent — The governing body for many politicians.

Zilch — Refers to a large percentage of contemporary congressional service to constituents.

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