Duh, could have told you that!

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Op-ed: Clergy opposing gay marriage turn people away from God
By Scott Dalgarno, November 30, 2014

In a Nov. 20 Tribune article reprinted from the Religion News Service, "Pastors opposed to gay marriage swear off all civil ceremonies," I learned of something called, "The Marriage Pledge." Hundreds of clergy who are upset with the trend of state governments to redefine traditional marriage, are pledging to opt out of anything that smacks of a civil ceremony.

I do not begrudge them their right to opt out of whatever they want to, but I can’t help reflect that there are few people as self-righteous as professional clergy who, when they take what they believe to be moral stands, think they are automatically defending God.

Let me quote a fellow Presbyterian, the writer, Anne Lamott, who has said, "You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."

I should confess that I, as a member of clergy myself, have doubtless been guilty of thinking this on occasion, but let me reflect. Marriage is difficult enough on its own without clergy butting in and making it their personal football.

Here is something I say at every wedding I officiate: It is a precious and wonderful decision one makes when one says, "I bind myself for life. I have chosen. From now on my task will be not to search for someone to please me, but to please the one I have chosen." For the church may bless your union and the state may make it legal, but neither can truly create or annul it. Marriage is first of all a union created by your loving purpose and kept by your abiding will.

The writers of the pledge have caught a fever rampant in this nation today – one that believes that government is inherently evil and is out to trash Christian values. That is sad. The principle reason government exists (as I understand it) is in order to see that the rich and powerful in a given country do not take away the rights of those of small means and less power. If history has taught us anything it is that without restraint, the rich and powerful will do that every time.

Jesus, in point of fact, was crystal clear about this tendency in the rich, and stated this not just once, but repeatedly. Let us remember, as well, that he had little to say about marriage and nothing at all to say about sexual orientation. When government intervenes to protect the rights of minorities I have noted that it is often acting in a way that resonates with the teaching of our spiritual head.

Those who take the pledge state the following: "We will preside only at those weddings that seek to establish a Christian marriage in accord with the principles articulated and lived out from the beginning of the church’s life." Yes, when most of the people in the Mediterranean world were slaves and the church didn’t seem to object, and when the leaders of the church ignored completely Jesus’ treatment of women as equals and began making men, and men alone, bishops in the church.

Way back in 1996, I spoke up at the only national meeting of Presbyterians I’ve ever been to. The church at the time was trying to decide whether to ordain "gay" people as ministers and elders and deacons. After the vote was taken and the denomination decided (at the time) not to allow gay people to be ordained, I used my minute at the microphone to suggest that maybe we were putting the cart before the horse. I said that before we ordain gay people (something I was in favor of and voted for) that maybe we should first support gay marriage. Because, I said, "Who could be against fidelity in relationships?" "Besides," I added, "it would be good for the children of gay people to see their parents in stable married relationships."

Well, that was a full 18 years ago, and few gave a passing nod to me. But note this: A great many people who want to get married today are turning to those who are not clergy to perform their ceremonies. The efforts of passionate, but misguided, clergy to make a battleground out of marriage will, I believe, only serve to escalate that trend.
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