Republicans Had Another Banner Day of Stupid
What a 24 hours it was in our nation's capital.
By Charles P. Pierce, July 7, 2016
As the sun sets on Thursday, and the kangaroo suits are sent to the cleaners to get them ready for the next 93 futile hearings into whatever's left of the e-mail thing besides the furrowed brows of the country's green rooms, we bid farewell to a very interesting day in Our Nation's Capital.
First of all, He, Trump came to town and met with those Republican legislators who weren't imaginative enough to come up with a decent excuse to be hiding under the couch. Things apparently did not go well with the senators. He, Trump threatened Jeff Flake's career, which is roughly akin to pulling an RPG launcher on an angry, but plucky, Pomerarian. Luckily for us all, He, Trump remains a dolt, which Flake politely pointed out.
Bring us into the octagon, Washington Post!
Trump said at the meeting that he has yet to attack Flake hard but threatened to begin doing so. Flake stood up to Trump by urging him to stop attacking Mexicans. Trump predicted that Flake would lose his reelection, at which point Flake informed Trump that he was not on the ballot this year, the sources said.Get the freaking net. I'm not kidding.
But the main event took place over in the House of Representatives, where Congressman Jason Chaffetz, Republican from Utah, brought in FBI director James Comey because Chaffetz was "mystified" as to why Comey had come to the conclusions he did regarding Hillary Rodham Clinton's e-mails.
For four hours plus, Comey stood the committee on its collective ear. Yes, there was some real dumbassery involved in how HRC handled her home server. Yes, he would use the word reckless. Yes, he would even use the word dangerous. No, he would not be indicting her because dumbassery in an official capacity is not a criminal offense—which is a good thing, otherwise there would have been very few members of the House majority able to attend Thursday's hearings.
For their part, the Democrats played the whole thing for what it was: an exercise in political kabuki. They were fulsome in their praise of Comey, and they were unequivocal in their support. Some of them spent their allotted time arguing that the committee should have had better things to do, and others had a lot of fun comparing what the Republicans had said about Comey during his investigation to what they said about him after his press conference earlier this week.
Meanwhile, the Republicans were equally complimentary of Comey's service, but their praise usually ended with one of them intimating that Comey was a man of great integrity so they were puzzled as to how he could have gotten involved in a conspiracy involving both Clintons, Loretta Lynch, Vince Foster, Jim Guy Tucker and, as near as could be determined, George deMohrenschildt and John Wilkes Booth.
John Mica, Republican of Florida, was particularly batty on the subject—somehow, Mica worked Hamilton into his questioning—to the point where Comey got genuinely angry. From TBOTP:
"I hope what you'll tell the folks in the cafes is, look me in the eye, and listen to what I'm about to say. I did not coordinate that with anyone. The White House, the Department of Justice, nobody outside the FBI family had any idea what I was about to say. I say that under oath, I stand by that."Why in the name of god they couldn't have just accepted the gift that Comey gave them on Tuesday is the best proof yet that modern conservatism has driven the GOP barking mad with no hope of recall.
There will be more hearings: Next week, Lynch is due for her chance to help another House committee look foolish. Elsewhere, Speaker Paul Ryan, the zombie-eyed granny-starver from the state of Wisconsin, is proposing that He, Trump, the dolt, be the only one of the major candidates for president to get national security briefings. Chaffetz ended the hearings by quizzing Comey about what he knew about The Clinton Foundation, so you know that's coming down the Idiot Trail fairly soon.
Come back with me to the cool darkness of the cocktail lounge of the Mena Airport. It's going to be a rockin' happy hour.