Trump's "'biggest mistake (besides the tan and hair) is the length of his tie ...'" Perhaps the length of the tie is to compensate for his penis? [snort]

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Donald Trump constantly makes one of the most offensive mistakes in men's suiting
By Linette Lopez, August 22, 2016

We can no longer be silent.

Presidential fashion is a low bar. It's almost expected that the leader of the free world wear a somewhat boxy, boring suit in navy, black, or the occasional gray (unless you're Obama doing summer). Then you throw on a power tie in red or blue.

This is fine. The American people understand the president has more important things to do than worry about his haberdashery.

So we're not asking a lot here. Donald Trump, however, consistently fails to reach this low bar because of one tragic mistake — the way he wears his ties.

"He's no worse dressed than any of the others, because they are all on par with one another. His biggest mistake (besides the tan and hair) is the length of his tie," said Jessica Cadmus, a personal stylist known as The Wardrobe Whisperer.

"It's ludicrous, and no one is pointing it out. It's egregiously long," Cadmus said. "My guess is that he buys Italian ties (which often are longer because Italians like to tie up a big knot) but then he ties a regular knot — probably a half Windsor."

A full Windsor, we should note, is the most common knot among the Wall Street set. According to Cadmus, "chumps tie a half Windsor." They usually indicate that you are wearing a forward-point collar, and Wall Streeters tend to wear a spread collar.

The length of Trump's tie makes it look as if there's a long, silk (good God, we hope it's silk) leash hanging from his neck. That is why too-long ties are often used for comic effect, and unless your name is Krusty and you work at the Big Top, they are generally frowned upon in the workplace.

Too-short ties are no better.

At its shortest, a man's tie should rest on the top of his belt. At its longest, it should end at the bottom of the belt. Ideally, though, a tie should hang somewhere in between the two.

You can note the difference in Trump's picture with one of vice presidential candidate Mike Pence at the top of this post. There are a number of reasons why Pence looks so uncomfortable, but we're choosing to believe that he's making an excruciating effort to avert his eyes from his running mate's neckwear.

"Another pro tip is that guys 6-foot-2 and taller should purchase extra-long-length ties. Trump claims to be 6-foot-2, but I'm not sure I believe it based on how long his ties are," Cadmus told Business Insider.

Yet another mystery, people.

One more thing: Cadmus' musing on why Trump's ties look so atrocious begs one question — if Trump is wearing Italian ties, does that mean he's not wearing his own Chinese-made Trump ties?

Unclear.
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